Generosity
Toll Fares, Tim McGraw, and the Sharing of a Harvest
It’s always intriguing to me when disparate moments of life come together in seamless ways.
I had been contemplating what to write about next when I happened to remember a seemingly random, fleeting moment from nearly 15 years ago.
I can’t remember the exact circumstances of the visit, but I had gone to New York City to meet with my Aunt. I was young and ignorant at the time and had no clue how much to bring for toll money.
I remember somebody at our little gathering asking me if I had enough to cover the tolls home. I replied that I had brought a few handfuls of quarters. There was an awkward moment of discomfort that rippled through the party as everyone there furrowed their brows as their lips turned downward in concerned frowns.
Apparently, you couldn’t pay in coins anymore. The people in the room pooled their cash together and gave me enough money to cover travel expenses.
I never asked for it and I never expected it, but there it was nonetheless.
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about (and listening to) one of my favorite songs, Humble and Kind by Tim McGraw.
If you’ve never heard it, I highly recommend you listen to it at your earliest convenience, even if you swear up and down that you hate country music.
Humble and Kind gets me right in the feels every single time.
I want to copy and paste the entirety of the lyrics here because they are beyond beautiful, but I won’t due to copyright infringement and because, again, I really want you to listen to the song for yourself.
However, one part of the song is important for what I’m about to expand on:
“Don’t forget; turn back around and help the next one in line,
Always stay humble and kind.”
Just the other day…
I was listening to the radio and the host was talking about the importance of the phrase and the practice of “Sending the elevator back down,” which essentially means that when you get to the top, or reach some level of mastery, it’s a good practice to offer support, mentorship, advice, help, resources, opportunities, or whatever time you can to help the next person who is trying to get where you are.
Exactly what Tim McGraw was talking about. Exactly what my Aunt and a few of her friends did for me with the toll money. And, as you’ll read on, exactly what neighbors are for…
Yesterday…
My husband was working on staining the wooden boards for the pollinator garden I’m starting next year at the same time as one of our neighbors was also working on gardening projects in their backyard.
Later, my husband comes inside holding a thick green bunch of flat-leaf parsley. I look up from my studies, blink, and cock my head like a dog, a little confused.
Our neighbors gave us some of their homegrown parsley.
“Our neighbors gave us some parsley”
is not really a thing that happens. At least, not that I know of, especially in the ‘burbs of anywhere in the US.
I grew up hearing about how families in close communities would reach from the window of one kitchen to another to spare a cup of flour or sugar. I like to think that this sort of generous loan system, where nothing was ever expected in return, was once commonplace. Now it’s completely unheard of, at least, again, where I live.
And that makes me sad.
Why can’t it be this easy? Why isn’t it always this easy?
All year, without ever being asked to, or expecting anything in return, my husband has mowed and trimmed the weeds in the alleyway behind the two houses on either side of ours. He does it because he has the time and the energy and the tools. Ultimately, he does it because it’s the right thing to do to help out when and where you can.
We never expected a gift of fresh parsley in return, but there it was nonetheless.
I stared at it, hanging from the vent above our stove almost like a mistletoe, with reverence and a deep feeling of gratitude. This small gesture of sharing, so uncommon in the world today, was so beautiful and touching that I got emotional.
Somewhere in the commoditization of literally everything, hustle culture, and the rising and nearly impossible costs of living, sharing has gone mostly extinct. It’s become all for one instead of one for all. People cannot just give things away! Am I crazy? In this economy?!
We’re told to sell our used stuff on any number of resale sites. Sell our hobbies as crafts. Sell our expertise and skills as a business. Sell our advice as coaching…
This type of rat race, where everything either costs money or makes us money, is causing isolation and burnout. It is exactly why I think we need to share when and where we can more than ever.
I know some of us, myself included, grew up learning that sharing was caring, but that got bastardized when we were told to share even when it was uncomfortable or potentially dangerous. It was “nice” to share, even when we didn’t want to. And now many of us struggle to share what little we have. That’s absolutely valid, and I see the fear, trauma, and uncertainty there.
Yet, here I am, left in awe of generosity today. I think sharing is about to come back and have another major moment in history. We’ve collectively realized all-for-one doesn’t work. Not for the elites, and not for anyone else, either. Generosity still exists, and it’s still possible to practice it. Generosity doesn’t have to be big. It often exists in quiet whispers and small gestures. It shows up when you least expect it.
I am truly grateful for these moments that put hope back in humanity for me. I hope you’ll contemplate how you can help others, no strings attached, this giving season and for all your days.
And I hope, above all, you’ll stay humble and kind.
Hey, there!
My name is Tiffany and I write about the things that make me wonder, as well as the things that I am in wonder of.
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